Can you share some practical ways to reduce the trauma of moving for all children?

Moving truck Nothing is more frightening than the unknown, particularly for a child about to be moved miles away from friends, loved ones and a favorite playground. Here are some proven tips:
Explain The ABCs Of Moving.
Years of experience have shown one of the best ways to overcome children's moving fears is open communication from start to finish. Young children, especially, have no concept of what it means to move. They may conjure up images of their favorite possessions being left behind or their entire house physically moving.
  • Calm The Jitters Before The Move.
  • Carefully explain why you are moving and when.
  • Listen to all fears and answer questions honestly.
  • Bring children along on the house-hunting trip if possible.
  • Take pictures of the new home, neighborhood, school and playground to show your kids what to expect.
  • Look for age-appropriate books on moving, in the library or bookstore, to share with the children.
  • Let Everyone Help.
  • Let children help with organizing and packing for the move, especially their "stuff."
  • Give them special boxes to pack favorite things in.
  • Explain that when you arrive at the new home, all the things in the boxes will go right into their new rooms.
  • Allow children to help plan the drive, if feasible.
  • Incorporate the children whenever you can with decision making. Get their input on colors of paint, flowers to plant and location of furniture.
  • Settle In Together After The Move.
  • Let the kids help arrange furniture in their new bedrooms.
  • Be prepared for nighttime fears when settling in a new home.
  • Invite new friends and neighbors to visit.
  • Encourage children to write or call old friends.
  • Plan some family time. Explore the new area together, including points of special interest to the kids.
  • Accompany the children to school until they feel at home there.
  • Be patient - moving jitters can often cause behavior changes.
  • Don't hesitate to get professional help if you feel it's needed to help children adjust.

 

How do you smooth the move for school-age kids?

Friends Prospective transferees with young children have a real dilemma. A work-related move may mean new professional opportunities for the relocating employee. A transfer may even mean more money to spend on family needs. But adults can sit down and weigh the pros and cons of such a move. Younger children can't.

Young children simply don't have the tools necessary for such a calm and reasoned approach. Add their feelings of helplessness - this is, after all, not their decision to make - and many relocating families find the hardest part of making a move is soothing the worries of the little ones.

Consider the following preparation tips when you're faced with moving pre-teen children.
    To Minimize The Sadness Over Losing Old Friends:
  • Create a photo album.

    • Have the kids make a photo album of favorite people and places. Take them on a photo safari to snap pictures of old schools they have attended, favorite teacher(s), best friends, favorite parks or playgrounds and any other things that a child might miss.
  • Share a show and tell.

    • Ask a teacher to schedule a little time for the departing kids to talk to their classmates. Your kids can describe the place where they’re moving and share what they have learned about their new and exciting hometown.
  • Make your own time capsule.

    • Let the kids pack up a time capsule. Choose a special box and have the kids fill it with things that will remind them of the old place.

    To Reduce The Fear Of Moving To An Unknown Place:
  • Plan a new town trip.

    • Take the kids on an orientation trip to the new hometown. Show them their new house, if possible. Tour the new school and chat with a teacher or two.
  • Gather info, info, info.

    • Gather and share as many pictures and books about the new area as you can find. What are the local historic attractions of the new hometown? Where’s the local zoo? The local amusement park? What is the area known for?
  • Remember that talking is golden.
    Spend time reassuring your kids the change will be exciting and good. Have them discuss their fears and share with them ideas for getting along in the new hometown. Help them understand great new friends await, new adventures beckon.
Remember thousands of families with school-age children go through these relocation blues every year. By remembering the lessons learned by those who have gone before, by focusing on pre-move preparation, families, companies and schools can come together to make a move a stress-free and positive experience for everyone – especially the kids.

And also remember that we've helped families with school-age children make their moves happy moves. Call or e-mail us to get started.

 

What tips can you give to take the pain out of a teen move?

Cookies & milk Moving is a difficult transition for anyone, let alone a teenager who is already grappling with the acne, voice changes, teen love and peer pressure.

Here are some savvy steps parents can take to help teenagers make a move with the least amount of stress.
  • Good timing can be everything.

    • Ask your teens for input on upcoming important events. If possible, plan the move to coincide with a natural transition like the end of soccer season or after the violin recital.
  • Include the teen in the home search.

    • Tour schools, parks and athletic centers while house hunting. Your home choice could center around your teens' activities. Bring teens along on house-hunting trips so they can help choose the next home and, more importantly, so they can see how the locals dress and get a feel for the school and recreation programs.
  • Collect as much information as possible.

    • Arrange for a copy of the school newspaper to check activities, sports, and cultural programs. Involve them in the moving and resettling plans. Ask them to navigate the Internet and collect information about the new town, schools, houses, maps – and share what they find.
  • Visit the new school to observe how students dress.

    • Remember, it is important to teens to be fashionable. Consider checking out the malls if a quick wardrobe update is in order and in the budget.
  • Investigate your new area.

    • Zero in on places and things of special interest to your children (such as ice rinks, malls, ball fields, bike paths).
  • Do some pre-move legwork.

    • Contact the new school for timely information on the transfer of credits and registration dates as well as deadlines for joining team sports, dramatics, etc.
  • Keep in touch with friends.

    • Reassure the kids they will be able to call and visit their old friends. Arrange a return visit to give the teen something to look forward to.
  • Be empathetic.

    • It's tough to be uprooted in the teen years. Listen to your child's concerns and talk them over. Be understanding, and share your own feelings. The whole family may be a bit sad, but be positive about new opportunities and a fresh start. Communicate frequently about feelings, and give your teens control over their stuff, if possible.
  • Maintain family rituals and structure.

    • Moving poses special challenges for ever-vulnerable teenagers. Typically, the further along in high school a teen is, the more difficult the move. When a friend moves away, those left behind suffer a loss, but they still have each other, familiar routines and places and a common culture. Not so for the teen who relocates. That teen loses most support systems - except the family - at a time when the teen is often trying to become more independent of the family. Since many teens in the new town will have already established long-term relationships with their peers, a new teen moving into the area may find it hard to make friends. This is especially true if the newcomer is not at his or her best - grieving the loss of the old life, perhaps, or depressed or angry about the move. Take the opportunity to strengthen family ties by encouraging family members to support each other through continued family rituals and structure.
Enlist the support of professionals who can help you and your family achieve the best move possible. Call or e-mail us or click on "Ask Your Own Questions."

 

Are there special first-day move-in secrets for tots?

Girl with teddy On the first night in your home there is nothing worse than digging through a stack of boxes to find a favorite stuffed animal so your child can sleep. To avoid frantic searching for everyday "must have" items, a first-day survival kit for the tiniest tots, all in one box, should include:
Survival Kit For Tots
  • Favorite toy or blanket
  • Diapers
  • Several changes of clothes
  • Bed linens
  • Bottle or pacifier
  • Formula
  • Special foods
  • Bib
  • Baby eating utensils
  • Pain/fever reliever
  • Thermometer
  • First aid kit
  • Night light
  • Favorite books, toys, games
Label your box "load last" so it will be first off the truck, or carry it with you. Other musts: a stroller, car seat or playpen that can double as baby’s bed until the crib is assembled.


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